Heya all~! ✌
It's a new year, and I've decided I want to make some changes in my life, so here goes!So last year was a total chaos, I tried antidepressants, which didn't work out too well, and I also lost a steady financial support I've been having for 4 years, and had my income cut into 1/3 of what I originally had! It was rough, but I survived! It put me on a bad spiral into depression again after finally regaining control after the pills wore out. That sucked, real bad. I had troubles getting bills paid, barely any money for food (I only bought cheap food, like 1$ bread etc), and had a really bad diet for about 3 months. But in December I finally got more info on the new course I'm currently going to, and I got to "earn" money by going there every day. Actually I get 100$ less each month now, but got some additional help from a close friend to pay off one of the debt collector, so my economic situation is a LITTLE bit better in general now.
But let's get into the "new year, new rules" part of this post, shall we..?
This year I decided to try and take more control over my life. Get things my way a little more, do things I like more, and at my own pace. Not give a damn what others think or say.
I also decided I don't want more negativity in my life. I've struggled with depression for far too long.
Now I want to just take control, and show anyone who's not nice to me the door. Enough is enough. If you decide to give me shit, I will gently ask you to reconsider what you just said, think it over, was it really worth it. If a person do not understand my point of view, is it then any reason to stay connected. It's all about mutual respect, and that means I'll show more positive mental attitude back to others as well. No more being slightly arrogant/mean in any discussions I peak my nose into. Actually I'm going to keep my distance from any negative/toxic discussions.
Instead I'll try to spread some more love, and show more compassion towards others. I've always wanted to be a good person, but all the hate and negativity I've experienced has made me mean to. And I don't like what I became, so it's time to make a change!
But I won't let assholes just roll over me, make no mistake! I know my worth, and nobody can take that away from me! I have good qualities, and bad ones, but I want to focus more on the good ones! I'll of course try and improve on the bad ones, but focusing too much on the negative just makes you sour and bitter in the end, just like it did to me.
I'm a bit ashamed of how I've been acting the past year, some of it has been because of the meds I was on the first half part of it, but I was just having such a hard time with everything. Of course, that's not a proper excuse, but it just wasn't really easy for me to be very positive.
Now it's a new year, and I've made myself some goals:
♥ Make people around me laugh!
♥ Loose some weight (I definitely need that)!
♥ Pay off at least half my official debt!
♥ Figure out what I really want out of my life!
♥ Hopefully reach 500 followers on Twitch!
I hope I at least manage to reach some of these goals to some extent, that would be really nice! 😁
So, new year new rules, the rules pretty much being:
- Be more kind to myself
- Be more kind to others
- Don't take shit from anyone
New year, new Kori, maybe? 🤔
Until next time (hopefully not too long this time)! 👋
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