Desucon came, and we went all togheter; me Patrik, Rin and Stian. The first day of the con was ok. We had some fun on the con, and ate some delicious food. But I think the part where we were joking and having fun on the hotel was way more fun! We just sat there, joking about random stuff, and chilled on the beds. Good times, good times, I'd say.
The second day wasn't that much fun though. I was tired, and Patrik was kinda slow. I was all stressed out 'cause I wanted to look good AND reach the con before it opened again. So Patrik and I had a small fight, and I was pretty mad at him the rest of that day. I was so tired of all the negativety and all that stuff that had been going on lately. So, yeah.
Later that day Stian got sick, and decided to take the train home. Someone had to go with him to the trainstation so he wouldn't be left alone. And I wanted to stay on the convention, so Patrik decided he would go with him. And Rin stayed with me on the convention. No! Take it easy, we didn't do anything x)
When Patrik and Stian left, I finally had a chance to talk with Rin alone. Finally I could tell how my situation was etc. I was a bit discrete about what was going on with my feelings etc. Told him I was beginning to be a little unsure about my feelings for Patrik. He gave some small advice etc, and I felt some kind of reliefe since I could finally open up to someone about my situation and get some constructive advice from. Later we walked around for a bit, and he decided to buy some food for me, since I dind't have any money (Patrik was keeping the money). Then Patrik came back, and my happiness slowly faded away again. The rest of the convention was kinda boring, and we left a little earlier than expected. We just ate some pizza and took the buss home.
A few days later I was visiting Rin. Patrik was very sceptical to this, and I think he really wanted to join me as well, just to make sure I didn't do anything. I understand him, but then again, he should have trusted me that much... And he was the one who said I might need some time alone with Rin, since we were good friends.So I went to visit him, and we had alot of fun playing on his xbox and with his rats^^ And then I was going to take the last buss home, but we were too late. So I called Patrik and told him I was too late for the buss and asked him if it was ok if I stayed at Rins place for the night. I was too tired to walk home after a long day walking around in the city. But Patrik didn't give up that easily. He was ready to walk all the way up there and get me home. But after 15 mins of discussing, he finally gave up and I slept at Rins place that night.
The next day I had a feeling I didn't want to go home. I would rather stay with Rin and have more fun with him. If I went home I would most likely get a mad face from Patrik and we would just sit there in front of our computers again. And that was pretty boring if you ask me! So I asked Patrik if I could join Rin home again. He was still sceptical, but he allowed it.
Days past, and I still didn't want to go home. I also decided to ask Patrik for a break. I was still confused about my feelings. So it would be just natural to take a break and see if the feelings really are gone. Unfortunate for Patrik, my feelings was long gone. I've begun to fall deeply in love with Rin.
After about a week I finally decided that I couldn't go on any longer like this. I decided to go to his house, tell him it's over, then pack my stuff and leave. Pretty harsh, I know. But what could I do?
So I got a friend of Rin to help me drive all my stuff to Rins place and drove to Patriks place. When we came, Patrik was waiting. I was mostly straight forward in what I was going to do, and he told Rin and his friend to go back to the car so he could talk privatly with me. I was telling him that my feelings were long gone and I couldn't live like this anymore. He took my hands and squeezed them hysterical. He looked deeply into my eyes and begged me not to leave him. My conscience told me to not leave him, I felt really bad for him. But like I said; what can I do when I had no feelings for him at all, and I could barely look at him without feeling a bit unwell? I explained to him over and over again, but he refused to listen and accept the fact that I was leaving him. After talking for almost half an hour, I finally just walked back to the car. I was tired of this bullshit (exuse my swearing). We packed my stuff and left the place. I felt really bad, and when we came back to Rins place, I just layed down and took a loooong nap.
The days past more, and Patrik began to become really active on facebook. suddenly he wrote something about anime etc. He never even looked my direction when I was watching anime before! So why should he begin to watch anime all of a sudden after I broke up with him?
He also began to drink (or so he told me, not sure if it was actually true, or just to get my attention). Rin did the same thing when his ex broke up with him. Coincidence? I don't think so. But that's my opinion.
So after I broke up with Patrik, he have been making scenes and drama.
Now we're in present day. I've deleted him from facebook and all other forms for conntact. Only thing I've kept is his phone number. On top of that my good friend Stian deleted me and called me a player/whore. So not only did Patrik make me feel bad etc. I also lost a dear friend. But I guess that's my punishment for trying to live a happy life.
But now I got Rin, and I feel we fit alot better together than Patrik and I did. We laugh every day, take walkes around in the city, and around in the area. We also play games together, like gamers do x)
I just wanted to get all this confusion out here, so people I know can read it, and maybe understand my part of all of this. Stian refused to listen to my part, so maybe someone else will :)
BEDTIME!
Until next time~!
